1966 World Cup Final
Lee is preparing to replay the 1966 World Cup Final with Tim - Subbuteo style.
Tim turns up wearing what was supposed to be some German kit, but with the sports shop being closed, manages a St Thomas Aquinas Secondary Modern tracksuit acquired from the local charity shop...
The game is frustrated by an unforeseen, impromptu baby-sitting inconvenience, but the chaps do what every self-respecting chap would so and try to play on...with a huge World Cup trophy still on the pitch...
Lee: “England! "*Tap-tap-tap!* “England! "*Tap-tap-tap!* “England!
Lee: “You're supposed to be Germany"
Tim: "Sports shop was closed....Don't look at me like that, I paid top price for this - the lady in the Cancer Research shop wouldn't budge."
Lee: "S'pose we're just gonna have to pretend the 1966 World Cup was between England and ... St Thomas Aquinas Secondary Modern."
Tim: "Let's see it then."
Lee: "Well, what d'yer reckon?"
Tim: "I think I'm gonna cry."
Lee: "Hang on, there's more..."
Tim: "And completed on time!"
Lee: "Right - let's kick off."
Tim: So, here we are are Wembley, for 90 minutes of uninterrupted drama"
Tim: "Pitch invasion!"
Lee: "What's that?"
Lucy: "I have no idea - they were handing them out at Marks and Spencer's for every £50 spent....Guy's grandchild...Shut it!"
Tim: "Who would have thought? - My sister going out with a granddad!"
Guy: "I should be starting to take offence by now. Thank God I forgot to wear my hearing aid."
Tim: "So, does this make you a 'step-granny' Lucy?"
Lee: "Hey! Enough of your silly wisecracks. Show my landlady some respect. Would you like a drink Lucy?"
Lucy: "Yeah, that'd be great."
Lee: "What can I get you? Sherry? Ovaltine, cough sweet?"
Guy's phone: *ring ring"
Guy: "Hello....Oh my God - when?...Wait - slow down...just slow down..."
Tim: "Can you ask them to speed up again?"
Guy: "OK bye. Oh God!"
Guy: "Chloe's been rushed to hospital - they think it's appendicitis....er can I borrow your car?"
Lucy: "Yeah, of course"
Guy: "Oh hang on - I've had a drink."
Lucy: "Well, that's alright - I'll drive."
Guy: "Er... what about Dillon?"
Lee: "He'll never reach the steering wheel....I'm here all the weekend - enjoy the chicken."
Lucy: "Well he's still fast asleep... Look we won't be long - why don't we just leave him here?"
Guy: "Well I'm not sure about that."
Lee: "Yeah - I'm not quite sure me and Tim are ready to have a baby yet. We've always been quite careful in that department. haven't we sweetheart?"
Tim: "Yeah, we're both heterosexual, and I find him repulsive... We'll be fine honestly - leave the baby with us..."It's not really fair to wake him up is it?
Guy: "You sure you guys will be ok?"
Lee: "Yeaahh...Be fine."
Guy: "We'll be back as quick as we can."
Lee: "Great! Now we've got a baby."
Tim: "It's your fault - you said you were on the pill."